Total Eclipse of the Heart
Right about now news about the solar eclipse will have spread to the far corners of the globe. I imagine no one is more excited than the Americans, Mexicans and Canadians. As I write this, CNN even has a timer at the bottom of the screen. The boffins at NASA must be looking through their telescopes and wetting their pants.
Closer home, we’re all looking towards Mecca – holding our breaths, hoping our Muslim brothers and sisters get a sighting of the moon that would ultimately usher in Eid.
Isn’t there an Imam or Sheikh who can update us? Is there a sliver of hope? Do we have a holiday on Wednesday? Actually, isn’t there anyone who can dispatch a message to NASA and ask them to do us a solid? Surely one peak through a telescope won’t hurt.
Black Death
Since most of my mental capacity is taken up by pressing matters such as content calendars and brand campaigns, I’m perpetually at risk of missing important things like breaking for lunch or spending time with my family. Last Saturday I forgot to shut my bedroom windows in the evening as I rushed to catch the Liverpool Vs Man United clash.
Later, as I staggered to bed, I was stopped by a gust of wind at the door. Hundreds of Swarmer termites had flooded into the room. Their flapping wings were as loud as a small helicopter. A bunch of them had landed on the bulb. Visibility was nigh on nil. Total eclipse. My bedroom looked like Chernobyl.
Which now made me sit back and think: With all that’s happening in the world right now; genocide, femicide, earthquakes, civil war, climate change, – how do we know that we’re not moments away from a bug infestation? Just months ago we had a Cholera outbreak. Not long before that there was Ebola and Swine Flu. And that’s before we get to the shit-show that is the Kenyan government who are all deadly pests.
In the 14th century Europe, North Africa and China were plagued by fleas which transmitted Yersinia Pestis between rats and humans – the bacteria responsible for the bubonic plague, otherwise known as the Black Death. The plague killed nearly 50 million people. Whole communities were wiped out. And because antibiotics were yet to be invented, most people said it was the work of the devil. Religious leaders went round exorcising the demons but the fleas kept winning. I doubt even the God of Benny Hinn and Dorcas Gachagua would have had a say.
Apparently the symptoms of the Black Death include but are not limited to: shivering, vomiting, fatigue, delirium, sleeplessness and joint pain.
Haha. Imagine that. The symptoms of bubonic plague might as well have been the result of cocaine withdrawal.
Thanks to medical advancements, though, diseases like the Black Death are kept at bay. In this Kenya of ours you’re more likely to die from taxation than a flea bite. Actually, you’re more likely die from the sheer stupidity and cluelessness of people like our Cabinet Secretary of Health, Susan Nakhumicha.
Anyway, that night, as I swept the swarmer termites off my floor, I couldn’t help but wonder: What if a drug-resistant bubonic plague was in the offing? I mean, we already have Black tax clutching at our throats. Who’s to say the Black Death isn’t too far behind? Can we truly trust Susan Nakhumicha?
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Tune in next week for the next bulletin.
Pass The Mike 